Published on Fox News. Article by Nicole Darrah View original article A 2-year-old child was found dead inside a parked car in Kansas on Sunday — marking the ninth such death in the country in the three-week span since a New York dad made national headlines for accidentally leaving his twins in a hot car for hours. The toddler who died Sunday was discovered just before 6 p.m. in Lawrence, a city roughly 40 miles southwest of Kansas City, Mo. Investigators said they received a call about someone who'd been "left unattended," and medical responders determined the child was dead at the scene. FLORIDA MOM ACCIDENTALLY LOCKS BABY IN VEHICLE, OFFICER SMASHES WINDOW TO SAVE BABY FROM HOT CAR At least 33 children have died so far this year from heatstroke while in parked cars, according to Kids and Cars, a nonprofit organization that tracks such deaths. The deaths of Luna and Phoenix Rodriguez on July 26 are among the most high-profile of those cases and helped merge discussions about the annual epidemic from separate, localized tragedies into a connected, national issue. Juan Rodriguez, 39, said he "blanked out" when he left Luna and Phoenix in his car as he worked an eight-hour shift. "My babies are dead! I killed my babies!" he reportedly said after realizing he left his twins in the car, where officials said their internal body temperatures registered 108 degrees Fahrenheit. Described as an "amazing" father of five, Rodriguez told police he thought he dropped off the children at daycare before he went to work. Already this year, nearly three dozen juveniles — children as young as 4 months and as old as 13 years, living in states from California to New York — have died, often due to parents who say they simply forgot their child was in the vehicle. How can this happen? Such deaths are incomprehensible to many who read about them and are particularly puzzling to most parents, who can't begin to fathom how anyone can forget where their kid is — nevermind when that kid is just inches away in the backseat of a vehicle. Dr. Rosina McAlpine, a parenting expert and CEO of Win Win Parenting, told Fox News that parents or caregivers are often in such a rush to get to work, or an appointment, or any one of countless other obligations, they "forget they haven't dropped the child off at daycare or school and rush off to the meeting or work distracted, leaving their child behind." ARIZONA BABY REPORTEDLY RESCUED FROM HOT CAR AS MOM SHOPPED AT TARGET "Later they remember in shock but often it is too late," she said, noting some parents alternate dropping their child off at daycare, and might "forget it was their turn." Similarly, McAlpine notes that people other than a parent, like a caregiver, a teacher, a grandparent or other relative, "may not be used to having a child in the car on a regular basis." As noted by the parenting expert, 429 children who died from heatstroke in cars from 1998 to 2018, or 53.8 percent, were forgotten by their caregivers, according to an analysis from NoHeatStroke.org. Another 209 children gained access to the car on their own. The deaths of Luna and Phoenix Rodriguez on July 26 are among the most high-profile of those cases and helped merge discussions about the annual epidemic from separate, localized tragedies into a connected, national issue. Juan Rodriguez, 39, said he "blanked out" when he left Luna and Phoenix in his car as he worked an eight-hour shift. "My babies are dead! I killed my babies!" he reportedly said after realizing he left his twins in the car, where officials said their internal body temperatures registered 108 degrees Fahrenheit. Described as an "amazing" father of five, Rodriguez told police he thought he dropped off the children at daycare before he went to work. Already this year, nearly three dozen juveniles — children as young as 4 months and as old as 13 years, living in states from California to New York — have died, often due to parents who say they simply forgot their child was in the vehicle. What are other ways I can protect my child? Experts often suggest placing items — especially ones people know they won't forget — like a cell phone, or a purse or wallet, in the back seat of a vehicle to remind you of a child's presence, or even putting one of the child's toys on the front seat to remind the driver of who's in the back. It's also recommended that parents place their children in the middle of the back seat, rather than near the doors. Since drivers are constantly looking at their rearview mirror while they drive, if they can see the child in that line of sight, there's less of a chance caregivers will forget them.

How confident do you feel as a parent? Whether you’re a new learning parent working out how to care for your tiny baby, taming your boisterous toddler or being baffled by your teenager’s erratic mood swings, every stage of parenting can be challenging. When I became a mother, it was clear I didn’t have all the skills and knowledge I needed to support my child’s physical, emotional, psychological and intellectual development. Neuroscientists know about supporting a child’s early brain development to provide the foundation for lifelong learning and growth. Nutritionists and other health education specialists know how to nourish and exercise a child’s growing body so that it thrives. Psychologists know the best ways to support a child’s emotional and psychological development so they grow into well-balanced, capable and resilient adults. Posted by WellBeing Natural Health Read Article

Raise appreciative kids and decrease the clutter in your home by donating – Win Win Too many birthday gifts? Do you feel like your children get too many birthday and Christmas presents? And are you worried about your kids becoming ungrateful? Here are some great ideas to help you raise appreciative children, help those less fortunate and decrease the clutter in your home! Win Win Win! Did you know that charitable acts have physical and emotional benefits? When your child is very young and doesn’t really understand about birthday gifts, why not invite your friends and family to make a charitable donations in lieu of presents for your child. You’re not alone – this is a growing trend – perhaps you’ve already been asked to do this? I first experienced this on our son Cameron’s first birthday, when my colleague Ursula who lives in the UK, gifted a school desk to a child in Ethiopia on behalf of Cameron in lieu of a birthday gift. – I loved the idea and it started me on this journey of gift giving for birthdays too. More recently, my friend Natasha, asked us to make a donation for her daughter’s birthday rather than a gift, so we contributed towards a water well being built in a village and sent her the details. I’m not suggesting no gifts and that every gift should be a donation. While giving to charity for a child’s birthday offers so many benefits, it’s important to maintain a good balance – a gift for charity and a gift for the child – this way the child feels special on their birthday too. Raising well-rounded and caring kids Gifting to charities has grown in popularity as many parents can see the negative impact on their children of receiving too many gifts including becoming expectant and unappreciative. Let’s face it, when children receive gift after gift after gift – it takes away the “excitement” and the “specialness” of receiving a gift. We don’t want to rob our children of this! Parents are aware of the importance of raising well-rounded children who are socially aware and have empathy and care for others. As parents, we need to lead the way role modelling caring and kindness by involving our children in family gift giving and helping others. If learning about altruism doesn’t come from home, where will it come from?  It’s not just about having the conversations but actually experiencing it with our children. Here are some of our personal examples. At Christmas time Cameron, Colin and I buy gifts together to wrap and donate to less fortunate children. This gives us an opportunity to talk to Cameron about how fortunate we are and how good it feels to help others. We also buy the Big Issue on a regular basis – In the early days, Cameron asked us why we do that – so we talked about supporting homeless people. This way our son is experiencing the benefits of helping others – how good it feels - with the aim of it becoming an integral part of who he is as a person in adulthood – a caring, empathetic and generous person. Decreasing clutter in your home Then there’s the ‘practical’ aspect of suggesting your friends and family donate rather than bring a gift – it helps reduce the clutter in your home. We all know that when children have too many toys – it’s a mess AND they don’t get to enjoy their gifts properly – there are too many to attract their attention for long. Benefits of altruism for the whole family If we look at the research on altruism – volunteering, donating and caring for others, we see that study after study shows that people who are empathetic and care for others are happier and have greater well-being. This is particularly true for older people. With children – the greatest benefits occur when children willingly give as if they are forced the, benefits are lessened. This is why to get the maximum benefits, if they are old enough to understand its crucial to get your children involved in the giving of “their” birthday or Christmas presents. When children participate in the process they gain the full benefits on the other hand, if gifting is done for them without a choice, they may feel resentful. By being part of the whole process, children feel like they are making the difference in the life of another – they are foregoing a present willingly. Invite your children to can pick the charity they would like to support. This way they will get the greatest benefits of being caring and generous people. Read the full Article

Published in Herald Sun Saturday, February 19,2011 PARENTING - RAISING CAN-DO KIDS BY CHERYL CRITCHLEY Work demands are denying many parents the opportunity to develop vital life skills in their children, writes Cheryl Critchley Sadly, many parents are now too busy to parent. I’m not talking about using childcare, but about outsourcing almost anything that involves time and effort, such as birthday parties, exercise and even mental stimulation. These are the sorts of things we should be doing with our kids, developing our relationship and helping them gain life skills. But unfortunately, when both parents work full-time, it is easy to pay someone else to organise your party or teach your child art or how to kick a footy. We’ve had more than our share of McDonald’s birthday parties and bought costumes and food for special days rather than make them together.  A hectic work schedule also meant bike rides and park plays were few and far between. Things have improved since I changed my work situation, but few families can afford a big pay cut to balance their lifestyle. So what do you do? University educator, researcher and mother Dr Rosina McAlpine believes many parents now sit at the extremes and are either overprotective or take little interest in their child’s development.  McAlpine developed an affordable program helping parents raising can do kids. Inspired Children uses 15-minute activities twice a week over a year. Children develop skills and personal qualities such as self esteem, resilience, communication, play and creativity. “Parents and children have such busy lives that I felt 15 minutes two times per week was reasonable and could be achieved,” McAlpine says. “The aim of each activity is to introduce a life skill that will continue to be developed through experience and reflection and further activities in the program.” In one game the parent lets the child win and talks about what it means to lose, be resilient and not achieve what you want in life. The child then loses and talks about how they feel. “It is all about awareness, experience and role modelling by the parent,” McAlpine says. “Many parents let their children win every game- they don't get to experience losing and life is just not like that.” McAlpine says many of her tips are common sense strategies all parents can learn but are often too time poor to attend courses or read books. "Everything I include is available in the world to every parent by talking with other mothers, reading books, attending free parenting courses/seminars or surfing the internet,” she says. In an ideal world all parents would make the time to learn strategies in areas they may be lacking in.  But we know it isn’t that simple and easy to follow programs like this are better than letting things slip. As Mc Alpine says, we don’t want a generation of young people who can’t do anything for themselves. She sees this all the time as a university teacher. She sees this all the time as a university teacher. “I’ve been a university lecturer for over 20 years and I can’t tell you how many times I have heard my first year students say things like ... ‘I don’t know how to cook’. ‘I’m sick of living off two minute noodles and takeaway’ … ‘I feel really lonely and depressed’ … (or) ‘I’ve just failed my exam and I’ve never failed anything in my life. I can’t cope’,” she says. Some parents make excuses for their offspring, such as saying they have so much pressure to succeed at school that they shouldn’t have to do housework. But McAlpine says parenting is about helping children prepare for life. “To live a full, happy and balanced life children need to develop key life skills and personal attributes like good self esteem, resilience, communication skills, the ability to set and achieve goals, personal and home cleanliness and an understanding of health, wellbeing- the list goes on.” Building resilience Discourage negative self-talk when something goes wrong like a bad exam result. Encourage children to look at the positives and move forward. Tell them everyone makes mistakes and we can all learn from them. Role play situations that could go wrong at school, like a toilet accident or teasing and work through coping strategies with them. Teach them life skills such as how to cook and manage money. Develop their social and environmental awareness. Encourage their communication skills, creativity and imagination.

BUSINESS TURNS TO EDUCATING PARENTS-TO-BE AT WORK IN THE HOPE OF KEEPING WOMEN IN THE WORKFORCE LISA MAYOH AND DANIEL MEERS, THE DAILY TELEGRAPH, MARCH 07, 2015 12:00AM BUSINESS giants such as Westpac and Qantas have begun offering mums and dads free parenting courses as they recognise a $25 billion opportunity to keep women in the workplace. The major corporations are turning to a Sydney University academic’s education program for employees before they go on maternity leave, and when they return. The new trend means that instead of the scenario in which women relied on their own mother, aunts or siblings for parental advice, they can now go to work to learn everything from how to juggle demanding children with a career as well as how to manage toddler tantrums. Parenting author, and speaker Rosina McAlpine described the phenomenon as “win-win parenting”. Read the full article here PARENTING TIPS Bust the myth we ‘magically’ know how to be a good parent. We aren’t born with the skills — we need practical knowledge, skills and experience for everyday parenting, especially challenging moments. Use simple framework SEE — which stands for Stop, Empathy Education. Instead of reacting to challenging moments, use those three steps to respond to children for a more positive experience. This applies from baby to teenagers in any situation for getting ready for school, managing emotions, dealing with bullying, getting kids to share, listening at home, tantrums etc. Move away from discipline, rewards and punishment. Instead, use empathy and education to develop life skills in kids and deepen the deep bond with parents and children. Become your ‘personal best parent’ by taking care of yourself, role modelling for your children, learning about good parenting and using the SEE approach. Be in a place to respond, empathise and help children learn how to be in the world. As parents learn, they feel more confident, they drop guilt and stress and their children have better outcomes.

Article Published on News.com.au by Lisa Mayoh. Contribution by Dr Rosina McAlpine IT WAS the closest I’ve come to having a panic attack. I still remember the feeling, sitting on that plane, buckled in, seatbelt sign on. Trapped. My heart pounding, my breath short and fast, my eyes wide and threatening to cry. What was I thinking, leaving our beloved children for the first time while we had six days in Bali? It’s something you dream of when you’re in the thick of dinner, bath and bed. You let yourself drift away, buoyed by the prospect of sleeping in, reading a book, or laying by the adult’s pool, not a splashing, squealing child in sight. Read Article

New fathers are stepping up, with a little support.

CURRENT TRENDS IN PARENTING ADVICE The Festival of Dangerous Ideas held recently at the Sydney Opera House included many interesting local and international speakers discussing a range of controversial topics including: “what can we learn from suicide bombers”; “free-range kids” and “are children worth it?” Having a particular interest in parenting, I attended both parenting talks. I left quite concerned about the current thinking on parenting today. “America’s worst mom” I first attended a talk by Lenore Skenazy, dubbed “America’s worst mom” because she let her 9 year old son travel home on the subway on his own with $20, a subway map and change for a pay phone. Lenore shared her “free-range kids” parenting philosophy. While she was very entertaining, her talk centred on sharing exaggerated comical stories about children and parenting as well as ridiculing over-protective ‘helicopter parents’. She did provide some insights into why parents fear for the safety of their children; but unfortunately, I didn’t walk away with many practical parenting ideas. Speaking with Lenore as she signed my copy of her latest book titled Free-Range Kids she didn’t seem at all like a “bad mom” and her book offers some practical suggestions for parents to help their children become more independent. Nevertheless, I was left with a cartoon image in my mind of children roaming free with chickens on a farm, and feeling quite sure that I need advice on raising a boy not a chicken! “Are children worth it? "Anne Manne spoke eloquently on the controversial topic “are children worth it?” and asked the audience to consider where we are as a society to even entertain such questions. She discussed research studies which have found that individuals without children generally report they have happier lives than people with children. She went on to talk about inadequate and expensive childcare facilities and how much pressure there is on today’s mothers who need to work, take care of their children as well as their home. No wonder they report they’re unhappy! In conclusion, Anne pointed out that today’s parents can’t win. Working parents are criticised for not spending enough time with their children and “helicopter parents” are criticised for spending time too much time with their children. I left the talks with two questions. Firstly, how did we end up parenting at the extremes? Secondly, what does it mean to be a parent?

Win Win Parenting chief executive Dr Rosina McAlpine said as more parents feel the stress and guilt of juggling a career and family she wants to help them and the businesses they work for. Read full article here http://www.illawarramercury.com.au/story/3912327/parenting-workshops-help-local-employees/

As a parent you’re a powerful role-model for your child. Babies are born with millions of ‘mirror’ neurons so they can mirror and mimic what they see and hear in the world. Perhaps you’ve cringed when you’ve accidently used an inappropriate word in front of your child and they’ve repeated it back to you or in front of others. Embarrassing right? So, by the same token, if you scream at your children, you can expect them to scream back at you - as you’ve just shown them how to behave in the world. I’m a busy working parent, so I know it’s not always easy to stay calm when you’re trying to get everything done and have a successful family-work life. BUT, I also know that when I lose my temper and yell at our child – it’s a LOSE- LOSE situation. I feel bad, my child feels bad and I don’t resolve the issue. One practical way to becoming a calmer parent is to prepare in advance. You know the situations that set you off, so instead of coming up against the same fight day in day out, why not take 5 mins to think of a new approach. If it’s getting out of the house in the morning – what can you do with the kids to prepare the night before? If it’s about eating healthy meals, how can you involve the kids in selecting and preparing meals to take the fight out of it and take some of the burden from you?

Are you the kind of parent who is a fabulous cheerleader for your child? Are you the first one to say: “You’re amazing” “What a great job you did” (regardless of whether they did or didn’t!) “You are the best/smartest/most sporty/talented kid ever” And have you noticed that your child has come to expect and even become reliant on you and others giving them praise? Some people refer to children today as “praise junky’s” as in many aspects of their life – even with the games they play on technology – they are getting external praise and rewards. And, if you’re like most parents, when you’re angry or frustrated with your child you might criticise them with comments like: “What’s the matter with you? How many times do I have to say the same thing? Will you ever learn to just listen?” “Stop being so selfish. You’re not the most important person on the planet! Can’t you see I’m busy? Instead of being lazy, demanding and complaining about everything why don’t you offer to help and be useful for once?” Perhaps you’re hearing words that were said to you as a child and now they ring true as a parent? And as you can imagine negative comments can really harm your child’ self-worth as a small child which can go on through the teen years. Perhaps you’re raising a teenager and you’ve seen that what their friends think and say means EVERYTHING and can either boost or deflate how your child feels about themselves. Are you beginning to understand what a vulnerable position relying on outside praise or criticism for self-worth puts your child in? It puts children at the mercy of other people’s opinions about them and their work, and we all know how critical people can be.

The research on bullying highlights the need for parents to be vigilant when it comes to their children and bullying as many children do not tell their parents they’re being bullied. As a loving parent you might be thinking. Why wouldn’t my child tell me?” (64% of bullied children do not report it)* There are many reasons children don’t tell their parents including: “I don’t want to worry my parents.” “If my parents get involved it will make it worse.” “My parents won’t understand.” “There’s nothing anyone can do anyway.” It is important to keep a watchful eye on your children and if they start behaving in a way that isn’t usual, then it could be time to sensitively ask the right questions and find out what is going on. So what are the signs your child might be being bullied and not telling you? Our children are unique and so are their responses to adversity, but here are some of the common signs: Uncharacteristically spending a lot of time alone, coming home with more bumps and bruises than usual and blaming it on clumsiness or sports, loss of appetite, more moodiness especially after school or after being on social media. It is not always straight forward to read the signs, as children can be good at hiding things from their parents – especially if they’re busy trying to manage the many challenges of daily life. However, parents need to be alert because bullying can have detrimental physical and psychological effects on a child and can result in isolation, depression and even suicide. It’s time we bust the myth that parents should just instinctively know how to raise happy, healthy and capable kids. There are few if any jobs in the world that require no education, training or experience, yet when raising our most precious children we are sent home from hospital and expected to navigate highs and lows of parenting on our own.  The more parents know about helping their children eat well, sleep soundly and manage life’s challenges, the more confident they feel. *SOURCE: Petrosino, A., Guckenburg, S., DeVoe, J., and Hanson, T. (2010). What characteristics of bullying, bullying victims, and schools are associated with increased reporting of bullying to school officials? (Issues & Answers Report, REL 2010–No. 092).