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Win Win Parenting chief executive Dr Rosina McAlpine said as more parents feel the stress and guilt of juggling a career and family she wants to help them and the businesses they work for. Read full article here http://www.illawarramercury.com.au/story/3912327/parenting-workshops-help-local-employees/

Dr Rosina interviewed on Nights with Walter Williams Fairfax Radio Network - talking about the importance of role models in children's lives.

As a parent you’re a powerful role-model for your child. Babies are born with millions of ‘mirror’ neurons so they can mirror and mimic what they see and hear in the world. Perhaps you’ve cringed when you’ve accidently used an inappropriate word in front of your child and they’ve repeated it back to you or in front of others. Embarrassing right? So, by the same token, if you scream at your children, you can expect them to scream back at you - as you’ve just shown them how to behave in the world. I’m a busy working parent, so I know it’s not always easy to stay calm when you’re trying to get everything done and have a successful family-work life. BUT, I also know that when I lose my temper and yell at our child – it’s a LOSE- LOSE situation. I feel bad, my child feels bad and I don’t resolve the issue. One practical way to becoming a calmer parent is to prepare in advance. You know the situations that set you off, so instead of coming up against the same fight day in day out, why not take 5 mins to think of a new approach. If it’s getting out of the house in the morning – what can you do with the kids to prepare the night before? If it’s about eating healthy meals, how can you involve the kids in selecting and preparing meals to take the fight out of it and take some of the burden from you?

Are you the kind of parent who is a fabulous cheerleader for your child? Are you the first one to say: “You’re amazing” “What a great job you did” (regardless of whether they did or didn’t!) “You are the best/smartest/most sporty/talented kid ever” And have you noticed that your child has come to expect and even become reliant on you and others giving them praise? Some people refer to children today as “praise junky’s” as in many aspects of their life – even with the games they play on technology – they are getting external praise and rewards. And, if you’re like most parents, when you’re angry or frustrated with your child you might criticise them with comments like: “What’s the matter with you? How many times do I have to say the same thing? Will you ever learn to just listen?” “Stop being so selfish. You’re not the most important person on the planet! Can’t you see I’m busy? Instead of being lazy, demanding and complaining about everything why don’t you offer to help and be useful for once?” Perhaps you’re hearing words that were said to you as a child and now they ring true as a parent? And as you can imagine negative comments can really harm your child’ self-worth as a small child which can go on through the teen years. Perhaps you’re raising a teenager and you’ve seen that what their friends think and say means EVERYTHING and can either boost or deflate how your child feels about themselves. Are you beginning to understand what a vulnerable position relying on outside praise or criticism for self-worth puts your child in? It puts children at the mercy of other people’s opinions about them and their work, and we all know how critical people can be.

The research on bullying highlights the need for parents to be vigilant when it comes to their children and bullying as many children do not tell their parents they’re being bullied. As a loving parent you might be thinking. Why wouldn’t my child tell me?” (64% of bullied children do not report it)* There are many reasons children don’t tell their parents including: “I don’t want to worry my parents.” “If my parents get involved it will make it worse.” “My parents won’t understand.” “There’s nothing anyone can do anyway.” It is important to keep a watchful eye on your children and if they start behaving in a way that isn’t usual, then it could be time to sensitively ask the right questions and find out what is going on. So what are the signs your child might be being bullied and not telling you? Our children are unique and so are their responses to adversity, but here are some of the common signs: Uncharacteristically spending a lot of time alone, coming home with more bumps and bruises than usual and blaming it on clumsiness or sports, loss of appetite, more moodiness especially after school or after being on social media. It is not always straight forward to read the signs, as children can be good at hiding things from their parents – especially if they’re busy trying to manage the many challenges of daily life. However, parents need to be alert because bullying can have detrimental physical and psychological effects on a child and can result in isolation, depression and even suicide. It’s time we bust the myth that parents should just instinctively know how to raise happy, healthy and capable kids. There are few if any jobs in the world that require no education, training or experience, yet when raising our most precious children we are sent home from hospital and expected to navigate highs and lows of parenting on our own.  The more parents know about helping their children eat well, sleep soundly and manage life’s challenges, the more confident they feel. *SOURCE: Petrosino, A., Guckenburg, S., DeVoe, J., and Hanson, T. (2010). What characteristics of bullying, bullying victims, and schools are associated with increased reporting of bullying to school officials? (Issues & Answers Report, REL 2010–No. 092).

Are you the kind of parent who seems to have time for the kids, your partner, your family, friends and your work … but no time for yourself? This is a common issue busy working parents face but it’s not good for anyone. Have you noticed how snappy, intolerant and irritable you can be when you don’t take care of yourself? You don’t need the research to tell you that if you’re tired, feeling unappreciated, and doing everything for everyone else and not taking care of your body, mind and spirit then you’ll end up unhappy, unfulfilled and even drive yourself to illness. So what can you do? Instead of putting yourself last, why not include yourself in the mix of things you do. It doesn’t have to take a lot of time. Can you find time to: go for a 15 minute walk in nature by yourself? close your eyes and take some time to still your busy mind throughout your day? book a massage once a week, or fortnight or month? have a regular meet up with a friend/mate for a chat? All of the above? Making time for yourself will mean you’re in a much better state of mind and body for your family.

As a parent, you want to live a long and happy life so you can watch your kids grow to become healthy and happy adults and have their own families. All parents want to be good role models for their children BUT many parents have grown up NOT having a healthy relationship with food themselves. Does any of this this sound familiar to you? “I can’t have chips, chocolate biscuits, ice-cream in the house, because I’ll eat the lot”, OR “I know that sugar, carbs, deep fried foods are Bad and only fresh organic veges are good BUT I always go for the bad stuff…especially when I’m upset”. OR Are you on the never ending cycle of diet, lose weight look and feel good… increase weight then diet again? Or Do you start all kinds of different diets looking for the magic one and give up after a few days and feel like a failure? We know DIETS don’t work long-term – what you’re looking for is a sensible, achievable and easy healthy lifestyle for the whole family. YOUR FAMILY’S HEALTH AND WELLBEING STARTS WITH YOU. Parents are the role models and the visionaries for their family and so your family’s health starts with you. First, if you are healthy and happy then you have the positivity and the energy you need to manage busy family life. Second, as you move forward on your health journey, you become a good role model for your children. LEARN SIMPLE STEPS FOR HEALTHIER DAY-TO-DAY LIVING Small changes can make a world of difference in your home. By changing your negative beliefs about food and making incremental changes to your daily health habits you’re on the way to a healthier family life. Take care of yourself and why it’s so important to your family’s wellbeing. Start your healthier eating journey from a place of kindness and curiosity rather than stress and disappointment. Discover how your food rules from childhood can help or harm your attitude to food today. Uncover your relationship with food. Plan how you would like things to be. Move forward in small steps and over time create the healthy family life you LOVE!

It’s time we bust the myth that parents should just instinctively know how to raise happy, healthy and capable kids. There are few if any jobs in the world that require no education, training or experience, yet when raising our most precious children we are sent home from hospital and expected to navigate highs and lows of parenting on our own. As a parent, we would never send our child to a school where the teachers aren’t qualified educators. We would never let a doctor without a medical degree treat our children yet, as parents we are expected to raise happy, healthy children without any education or training.  So it makes sense that many parents today are looking to learn more about parenting, because the more parents know about helping their children to eat well, sleep soundly and develop their mind and body, the more confident they feel.

Were you bullied as a child? If so, then you know how frightening it can be. As a parent, you want to do everything you can to protect your children from bullies so they never have to experience that horrible feeling of being picked on, laughed at, excluded or physically harmed. If you found out that child is being bullied, would you know what to do? If you’re like most parents you’d probably say one or more of the following things to your child: Pretend it doesn’t bother you; Tell the person how you feel; Tell the person to stop; Do nothing, walk away; Solve the problem yourself; Stop “tattling”; Make plans to get them back; Remind yourself it’s not your fault; Hit or fight the bully. But, according to a 2010 research study, these are among the least effective and least helpful things to support your child if they are being bullied. Source: Youth Voice Research Project: student’s perceptions about strategy effectiveness to reduce peer mistreatment. Survey 11,893 grades 5-12. From the research we know that bullying can have detrimental physical and psychological effects on a child and can result in isolation, depression and even suicide. But, it doesn’t have to be that way. The latest research into bullying shows there is a lot that parents can do to support their children to overcome and to prevent bullying. You can learn how you can help your child learn the skills they need to be bully-proof. What bullying is and what it isn’t. The prevalence of bullying and its many harms. Why your child might not tell you they’re being bullied or that they are a bully. Practical approaches for parents to help their children overcome bullying. Empowering your child with life skills so they become “bully-proof”. Bullying is prevalent in schools, online and in workplaces and it can even happen at home where one sibling bullies another. As a parent you can make a huge difference in your child’s life, by helping your child to develop the right attitude and mindset and learn the life skills to help your child to become bully-proof.

Many parents struggle to get their children off technology and feel unsure about how much time on technology is good for their kids. Many parents have the feeling that their kids spend too much time but don’t know how many hours their kids actually spend on technology and the recommended guidelines for safe use. Quick quiz: Do you know the actual number of hours your child spends watching screens? Do you know the recommended guidelines for safe use of technology by children? If you answered no to one or both of those questions then here’s what you can do Step 1 is to do a screen time audit, say over a week. When you add up the hours your child is on screens, make sure you include: television, videos, phones, tablets and computers – including how much time they spend on a tablet or computer at school. Research studies have shown that parents tend to underestimate the hours their children are on technology. Perhaps you’ll be the same when you work out how much your child actually engages with screens on a daily, weekly, monthly and yearly basis and how much you thought it was. Step 2 is to find out about the recommended guidelines so you can make informed decisions about how much time your child is spending on technology. The challenge is that the recommendations are not clear cut as there are differences between recommendations across different countries and the research is still emerging on technology and kids and the experts are still learning about the harms that can occur as our children engage with more and more technology.