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Human babies are among the most vulnerable living beings. Left alone, they die in a matter of hours or days at most. Babies depend on their carers for their physical, emotional and psychological wellbeing and how they experience their early years can have a significant impact on how they live their whole life. When our son Cameron was born, I felt vulnerable and overwhelmed by the responsibility of raising another human being. What did I know about his nurturing his physical, psychological and emotional development? As a parent, thinking about how I might ‘wreck’ him was really scary. For the last five years I have been reading the latest research in child development and parenting, and it has helped me to feel more confident as a parent. My research has revealed that there are a number of fundamental basics that help parents grow their vulnerable babies into capable, caring and inspired adults. While I’m certainly not claiming to have all of the answers, and even if I did, I could hardly fit them all in one blog post, nevertheless I’d like to share some of the key things I’ve learned about raising happy, healthy and well-adjusted children. START PREPARING BEFORE CONCEPTION The new science of epigenetics shows that your lifestyle choices prior to conceiving your child affect your child’s development. Your physical, emotional and psychological wellbeing can either have a positive or negative effect on your unborn child. A healthy lifestyle gives your baby the best start in life through the parent’s sperm and egg. PREGNANCY Mothers to be who enjoy a balanced whole food diet, engage in regular exercise and, for the most part are rested and calm during their pregnancy, create the best environment for their baby to form a healthy physical body including their brain development. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Once your baby arrives, give her love, love and more love! Of course, this is a no brainer but as it is so important, it bears mention. Cuddle, kiss, hold, interact with, respond to and love your baby. The more that babies are held, talked to and experience a safe world the more secure they feel and the more they learn and develop. BE HAPPY, HEALTHY AND INSPIRED Parents are a child’s most influential role model. If you lead a happy, healthy and inspired life, you help your child to learn how to do just that. A happy and healthy parent is more likely to have the time, patience and care to raise an inspired child. A tired, depressed and unhealthy parent is neither a good role model for their child or will have what it take to support their development. FOCUS ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR CHILD The bond between people is determined by the depth of love, care, respect and admiration they have for each other. Supporting the relationship between a parent and a child must be at the heart of all parenting decisions. Parents can ask themselves ‘how will my actions impact my child and our relationship?’ For example: yelling at my child and calling him names is likely to have a negative impact on our relationship. On the other hand, care, consideration and respectful communication will grow our love and bond with each other. LIFE SKILL APPROACH TO PARENTING We want our children to be enabled in life. Taking a life skill approach to parenting means that parents can nurture their child’s development across many key areas including: the development of healthy self-esteem, resilience, financial literacy, ability to relate to others, a good understanding of nutrition and the importance of exercise, how to manage emotions and behaviours and the ability to set and achieve their goals… just to name a few. If parents take just 10-15 minutes a day to help their children develop life skills they will be giving their children a strong foundation for life success. Remember, if you empower your children by teaching them how to think, how to create supportive working and family relationships and how to manage their emotions and behaviours rather than ‘telling’ them what to think and how to act and who to be, then you can feel confident that your children will be able to navigate life successfully even when you are not there to protect and to guide them.

Parents often feel guilty about their parenting. Perhaps you feel that too? Mums and dads often feel guilty about working long hours and not spending enough time with the kids, being short tempered and yelling a lot or feeling helpless when your children are having a hard time with friends or school. BUT, feeling guilty and stressed about parenting actually undermines your parenting. When you feel guilty and stressed you feel bad so you’re unlikely to come up with a great idea to resolve the issue and you’ll behave out of guilt or anger instead of love. So when you think about it like that you can see that feeling guilty is NOT what good parenting is about. What can you do? Research studies have shown that it is not about the quantity of time but the quality of time parents spend with their children that has the best outcomes. Instead of feeling guilty, can you: make time to read with your young child which will support your child’s language development and inspire a love of learning. go for a walk with your teenager, check in and ask how things are going. Then listen, listen, listen without offering advice, so you’re adolescent knows you’re interested and you’re there if they need support. make a favourite meal and have one or more relaxed dinners together as a family with everyone having a turn to share their highlights of the day. find a little time in the evening, like just before bed, that you can have some quiet time together with your child and tell them how much you love them. It’s these short quality interactions with your child that makes for good parenting.

Are you a "softie" when it comes to raising your children or are you "tougher" on your kids? While every parent or carer wants the best for their children, parents and carers may not always agree on the "best" way or the "right" way to parent. Some parents prefer to take a firmer or disciplinarian approach to raising their children, others may prefer a gentler collaborative parenting approach. These differences can result in conflict between parents and confuse children. If you’d like to know how to manage different approaches to parenting with your parenting partner then this interview on ABC Brisbane "Afternoons with Katherine Feeney" is for you. Parenting expert, Dr Rosina McAlpine, creator of the Win Win Parenting program shares: A range of different approaches to parenting and their impact on children. The challenges parent’s face when they're not on the same page. How to overcome conflict when there are different approaches to raising children. It's just 15 mins! Enjoy!

The news is filled with stories on bullying in schools, bullying in the workplace and with the increased use of technology, cyberbullying can be a constant, never-ending and relentless attack on your child. While some acts are clearly bullying – like a child regularly, wilfully, and intentionally physically hurting another child - other acts are not as easy to recognise as bullying. Do you know the difference between bullying and kids just having some harmless fun together? As a loving parent it’s important for to know the distinction so you can help your child navigate life’s challenges. Children need to be able to protect themselves from bullies and also be able to manage light-hearted play without it causing them to feel overwhelmed by hurt or stress. It’s also really important to make sure your own children are treating each other with care and respect and one child isn’t being allowed to bully their sibling. Every parent wants to raise happy, healthy and well-balanced kids. BUT, it’s not always easy to know the “right” thing to do. There is so much conflicting parenting advice today, leaving parents confused, especially when it comes to bullying. What is the right approach? SHOULD I LET THE KIDS SORT IT OUT THEMSELVES? But what if that ends in someone getting seriously hurt. SHOULD I INTERVENE AND HELP MY CHILDREN LEARN THE RIGHT WAY TO BE? But what if this makes it worse for my child and they don’t get the chance to learn how to handle life’s challenges. SHOULD I STEP BACK AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS AND IF IT’S NOT GOING THE RIGHT WAY – INTERVENE THEN? But what if I’m too late! What if I don’t do anything and something really bad happens – I’d never forgive myself.

Interview on ABC Radio "Boys will be boys"..."if he picks on you it means he likes you". Ever heard these statements before? But it the times of the Me Too movement and toxic masculinity, how do we raise our boys to be respectful? Parenting expert Dr Rosina McAlpine speaks with Kia Handley. Listen to the Interview here

A common challenge kids of all ages can experience today is bullying which can be devastating. Now with technology, bullying can be relentless and many children experience it on a day-to-day basis, both in person and online. Did you know that children with good self-esteem are less likely to be bullied, and if they are bullied, are more able to manage it without long-term psychological harm? On the other hand, children with low self-esteem are more likely to bully or be bullied. Even if your child wouldn’t initiate bullying, children with poor self-esteem are more likely to succumb to negative peer pressure and get caught up taking actions they know are harmful to themselves and others.  When things get tough, kids with low self-esteem are more likely to give up, blame themselves and feel helpless to overcome the bullying that stands in their way of life happiness and success. So how is your child’s self-esteem? Do you know how to support your child so they develop good self-esteem and what to avoid so as not to harm their self-esteem? Good self-esteem provides a strong foundation for your child’s life success. The more you learn about effective parenting, the more confident you’ll be with the practical tools you need to help you raise your children in a calmer and more effective way

Did you know that self-esteem and self-confidence are NOT the same even though most people use the words interchangeably? OK, let’s put it to the test.  Right now, ask yourself the question – “What is the difference between self-esteem and self-confidence?” and then answer it. We all know that every parents wants their child to have healthy self-esteem. No parent says I’d like a child with low self-esteem. BUT, when we confuse self-esteem and self-confidence in our parenting we can inadvertently hurt our child’s self-esteem. Take this short quiz: Does your child’s self-esteem come from outside – other people’s appraisal? Does your child rely on others for praise to feel worthy or validated? Does your child feel bad about themselves or even worthless when as a parent you criticise or reprimand them? Do you sometimes say things that might harm your child’s self-esteem? The more you learn about effective parenting, the more confident you’ll be with the practical tools you need to help you raise your children in a calmer and more effective way. If you feel like all you do is yell and fight with the kids which makes things even more out of control, then imagine how good you’ll feel when you’re able to respond rather than react and teach your kids the life skills they need for life success.

5 WAYS TO HELP KEEP THE PEACE Are you sick of screaming at the kids? Here are some strategies to create more peace at home. 1. Calm starts with you… Mum’s often feel guilty about taking time out for themselves, but if you’re tired and stressed then any little thing can set you off! So, now you can have guilt-free time to yourself and know you’re supporting peace for the whole family. 2. Say ‘yes’ more often… Saying “no, no, no” all of the time doesn’t make for a happy household and could be just the thing that triggers another argument with the kids. So try and accommodate a yes where you can. Here are some ideas: for your youngster “can I have a biscuit?” Yes, yes…you can have a biscuit for morning tea but right now we’ll have breakfast first. Let’s put the biscuit on the bench ready for morning tea at 10.30!”  For your teen. “Can I go out tonight?” “Yes, you can go out on the weekend and tonight you are doing homework”. If that’s not enough, then… 3. Make time to talk… By spending one-on-one time with your children you show them they are important and that you care about their position. If there are ongoing issues around wanting to go out on week nights and/or eating sweets for breakfast then you can listen, talk about them calmly and come up with a solution! By working things out quietly, there’s less chance of a screaming match! 4. Leave plenty of time… Have you noticed that when you’re in a hurry or running late the kids play up more and things tend to go wrong which makes you even later and more angry? Well get up 15 minutes earlier, or do some of the preparation the night before leaving you with enough time to absorb the unexpected and avoid having to yell “will you hurry up we’re late!” 5. Delay your response… OK, the kids are driving you crazy, the house is a mess and you need to cook dinner - all you want is some peace, order and help! Don’t yell at them…take yourself away and calm down. Yelling is only going to result in war. Once you calm down - you’ll see a better way out. So when you feel the scream rising up in you - delay your response and go back to step 1! “When there’s more peace in your house, there’ll be a happier home for all. Best of all you’ll be role-modelling and teaching your children essential life skills.”

Supporting Children After Major Events: Dr Rosina was aked to comment on an article for The Australian after the recent tragic events in Bondi and how parents can help support, manage and understand their childrens fears and worries. “You can tell your children that this is a rare event and that it is tragic but it is not something that happens everyday and it is not something to be fearful of,” she said. “Have open conversations with them and to ask you any questions. “Reassure them that it is okay to feel scared or worried, these are all normal when events like this happens.” Read the Full article here

Are you experiencing workplace bullying? Has one or more of your children been bullied at school? Are you a teacher who would like to support children to be resilient and rally against bullying? If you’d like practical tips to support you to navigate your own situation or to support a child overcome bullying, then this podcast is for you. Parenting expert, Dr Rosina McAlpine and Jessica Hickman discuss the many ways you can overcome workplace, online or school yard bullying. In this podcast you’ll learn: What bullying is and what it isn’t Signs your child is being bullied What you can do to support yourself or someone who is being bullied to be resilient and overcome bullying. This podcast is real and raw. Dr Rosina tears up as Jessica shares her personal story of being bullied over many years and is inspired by her courage and passion to help others. Jessica Hickman is the founder of Bullyology and author of ‘The Bullyologist: Breaking the Silence on Bullying’. After suffering extensive workplace bullying herself, Jessica Hickman turned a negative situation into a positive learning and now dedicates her work to preventing bullying in workplaces, online and schools. You can find out more at https://bullyology.com/ Supporting working parents Are you a manager interested in supporting working parents to better manage work and family? Learn more about the Win Win Parenting workplace parenting education programs that empower employees with families to succeed at home and at work. See our range of lone line and face-to-face flexibly delivered programs at  www.WinWinParenting.com

I’m excited to share our second interview in our 4 part series on FOOD and your family: how to develop a stress-free, healthy and balanced lifestyle for everyone from toddler to teen. Last week Deb and I explored the topic of Healthy eating for parents: being a good role model for your family. If you could do with a few tips on how to make small, realistic changes so you can have a healthier lifestyle for you and your family then listen to our interview. Teens and body image With all of the issues around body image and peer pressure to eat certain things, to look a certain way – it’s hard for teens to know what a healthy diet looks like and of course we want to help them develop great habits to hold them in good stead for life! Many parents worry about how they’re going to save their teen/pre-teen from a lifelong struggle with being obsessed with their weight and instead learn to focus on health. As a parent you can make a huge different by creating good foundations for life-long health Tips to support teen’s ‘healthy’ attitude to food In this interview you’ll learn how to help your teen by: Balancing their independence with your support when it comes to meals for your teen Shaping your teen’s positive attitude to food Modifying foods that teens LOVE to eat – to give them a healthy base with a taste they’ll love Providing your teen with the right ‘fuel’ at the right time And tips for getting teens to the dinner table Deb has a passion for helping families to develop a healthy relationship with food rather than the impossible tasks of trying to be “perfect” at eating all the “right” foods. We all know that’s hard work, no fun and so of course it’s impossible to maintain. Enjoy the interview! Dr Rosina interviews Deb Blakely, founder of “kids dig food” on the topic of Shaping your teens good eating habits and healthy attitude to food. Deb is a Dietician and Nutritionist, who works with families so they can lose the guilt, stop the battles and eat happily! If you’d like to know more about her workshops, webinars, or have a consultation in person or online email  deb@kidsdigfood.com.au or see her website at www.kidsdigfood.com.au

As a parent, you want to live a long and happy life so you can watch your kids grow to become healthy and happy adults and have their own families. All parents want to be good role models for their children BUT many parents have grown up NOT having a healthy relationship with food themselves. Does any of this this sound familiar to you? “I can’t have chips, chocolate biscuits, ice-cream in the house, because I’ll eat the lot”, OR “I know that sugar, carbs, deep fried foods are Bad and only fresh organic veges are good BUT I always go for the bad stuff…especially when I’m upset”. OR Are you on the never ending cycle of diet, lose weight look and feel good… increase weight then diet again? Or Do you start all kinds of different diets looking for the magic one and give up after a few days and feel like a failure? We know DIETS don’t work long-term – what you’re looking for is a sensible, achievable and easy healthy lifestyle for the whole family. If you’ve tried every diet known to man and you’d like to learn more about a stress-free way to have a healthy lifestyle for you and your family, then listen in to this interview. I really like Deb’s balanced approach “that all foods have a place.” Dr Rosina interviews Deb Blakely, founder of “kids dig food” on the topic of Healthy eating for parents: being a good role model for your family. Deb is a Dietician and Nutritionist, who works with families so they can lose the guilt, stop the battles and eat happily! If you’d like to know more about her workshops, webinars, or have a consultation in person or online email  deb@kidsdigfood.com.au or see her website at www.kidsdigfood.com.au YOUR FAMILY’S HEALTH AND WELLBEING STARTS WITH YOU. Parents are the role models and the visionaries for their family and so your family’s health starts with you. First, if you are healthy and happy then you have the positivity and the energy you need to manage busy family life. Second, as you move forward on your health journey, you become a good role model for your children. LEARN SIMPLE STEPS FOR HEALTHIER DAY-TO-DAY LIVING Small changes can make a world of difference in your home. By changing your negative beliefs about food and making incremental changes to your daily health habits you’re on the way to a healthier family life. In this interview we’ll explore how to: Take care of yourself and why it’s so important to your family’s wellbeing. Start your healthier eating journey from a place of kindness and curiosity rather than stress and disappointment. Discover how your food rules from childhood can help or harm your attitude to food today. Uncover your relationship with food. Plan how you would like things to be. Move forward in small steps and over time create the healthy family life you LOVE!